The Only Essential

I began reading The Cross Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney today and in the introduction he quoted Jerry Bridges, saying "The gospel is not only the most important message in all of history; it the only essential message in all of history.  Yet we allow thousands of professing Christians to live their entire lives without clearly understanding it and experiencing the joy of living by it."  I felt so convicted after reading that one little quote and that was just on page 15 of the book. Haha, not looking to good for me.  No but in all seriousness I asked Louden to recommend a book that would help me with where I am now in my walk with Christ, which feels like nowhere/nonexistent right now if I am honest with myself.  I feel as though I need to get back to the basics of my faith and fall in love with Christ all over again.  I miss being close to Him.  In the book, Mahaney poses the questions "What are you most passionate about? What do love to talk about? What do you think about most when your mind is free?  What is it that defines you?"  The bad thing is I am not sure what stole my affections and got me where I am now??? I couldn't come up with one dang thing that has just overwhelmingly ruled my life, the closest I could come up with would be family but even then I wasn't convinced that was my "thing".  I read on a little and finally found a description I felt fit me best, he writes "Maybe your life's passion is not so much a single focus as a constantly shifting gaze."  Bingo!  My mind wanders at a dangerous rate.  For example, it is very difficult for me to have a consistent one on one time with Christ because of my fleeting thoughts.  I know that to know Him you must spend time in His word and in prayer communicating with Him so why don't I do those things consistently? Frustrating doesn't even describe it, half the time I don't even realize how far off track I get until I look back and can't even see the track anymore.  I have come to the realization that it will only be through God's grace that I have a true and right thought about Him because I am hopeless on my own, believe me; I have tried.  But that is true of all things in my life I suppose.  I remember when I felt closest to God in my life during my senior year of high school and I want that back so bad now.  I want to want Christ, if that makes sense.  It is easy it seems when you are a brand new Christian to daily be on fire for Him but along the way the fire dwindles to mere embers.  Why?  I think in most cases, I know for sure in mine that I forgot the gospel was for me.  It became what I should share with others not what I remind myself of everyday.  I now realize the gospel should never be something we leave behind after we're saved, it should be something we grow in not out grow as a follower of Christ.  The cross should remain our focus throughout our Christian walk.  I am beginning to understand this... again, strangely enough.  I look forward to being renewed in the spirit in the days to come.  If you would, please pray for me?  I would much appreciate it :)               

Ice Road Trucking... in a Honda Civic

Latest adventure here in Louisville happened a little after midnight last night.  I managed to make it safely to pick Louden up from work last night and thought that would be the last of my death defying acts for today but oh was I wrong.  We got to our driveway (aka ice hill) that goes to the parking lot of our apartment building and made it about half way up and the car just couldn't get traction on the ice.  Thank God that Louden was driving because I probably would have had us completely sideways, sliding down the hill of death into the 4 lanes of traffic below but Louden handled the car quite well. We tried about 6 or 7 times to get up the hill, we would hit it at top speed get almost to the top and then start spinning tires, then have to slide our way back down as safely as possible because even if you manage to avoid scraping the car down the side of a rock face and dodge the fellow residents who are trying to go down the hill you still have a major 4 lane road at immediate end of the hill.  Haha, no room for error! By this time I have lost it and I am of no use to Louden as he is telling me to find the emergency number the apartment people gave us to call.  I folded like a lawn chair and just started crying because I began to think "oh my, what if this happens again and I am by myself trying to get home?!"  Because if I get the job at Home of the Innocents, I am second shift which means I get off at 11 o'clock at night Sunday through Thursday.  We finally decided to just park the car at the bottom of the hill at a nearby shop and walk up the hill, which was almost just as dangerous.  Louden finally found the "emergency" number that no one answered and left a heated voicemail about how we were told when we signed the lease that the hill is salted regularly during snow/ice storms but clearly it is not because he can't get up the hill to get home after work tonight!  The emergency contact person returned his call shortly after and explained to us that they salt the hill every 4hrs and will move up the time of the next salting so we can retrieve our car.  It was a crazy night to say the least because when we got home and finally got in bed we noticed our heat wasn't working!  Louden got up and visited the main office this morning to voice his concerns and frustrations.  As of now we have heat again and the honda is back in our apartment parking lot so hopefully this doesn't become a habit.  It's funny now when I picture us hitting that hill at top speed in the little honda civic but I never want to do that again. Haha, ever.

Our explorations in Louisville!

We finally ventured out into the cold to site see a little!  We went to Fourth Street Live which was pretty cool.  It is an actual street in downtown Louisville that is right in the middle of a bunch of restaurants and shops.  There is a huge 2 story Borders bookstore we spent most of our time in and a Hard Rock Cafe among other eateries.  Some nights they will actually shut down the whole street for events and things, mostly weekend stuff.  

The next day we went to the Louisville Slugger Museum/Factory. Very cool place!

HUGE BAT!

Sitting on the big glove made out of stone.

 

Always wanted to wear one of these like off the movie "A League of Their Own"

Really cool part of baseball history!  As a girl who played softball from tee ball up until my senior year of high school I would never want to play an actual game in this but still really cute to wear.  Maybe a future halloween costume?

Well that is all for now....  :)

Have your way

We made it!!  This is our first night in our new home.  It is almost 2am now and while everyone else is sleeping soundly I am wi____de awake. ;)  (emphasis)  It is still snowing outside and earlier they were blowing all the snow off our walk ways with a leaf blower.... strangest thing.  This morning I awoke in a haze of confusing emotions. I am missing my family so much I wanted to just run home but I feel the call to go forth on our adventure with an open heart and mind.  We were crossing the state line into kentucky at the same moment I read my facebook comment mama left me this morning and I lost composure for a moment.  As the tears flooded my eyes I was gently reminded that God is leading us on this adventure and I just thought to myself, "I trust you God with where I am and believe that you will have your way."  I was comforted by His spirit and a few Brit Nicole songs for the duration of the drive.  I worried some about the condition of the apartment we were going to be moving in to but after a friendly slap on the cheek via text message from my bestie, Laura Maggio, I regained my focus.  Our apartment turned out to be wonderful, we are very happy with it and hope to spend all three years here while Louden is in school.  Mostly because we really don't want to move all this stuff again, haha.  I'm only half kidding but seriously moving is rough.  We got everything unloaded from the horse trailor and I began my "nesting" as Louden calls it, I loved every minute of it.  Malachi is adjusting well to our new home! He did great during the car ride too, I was so proud.  Tomorrow Dippy and Mr. Ross will be heading back to Natchitoches early in the morning, I am so thankful they help us.  I really don't know how else we would have made it.  Micah is staying with us another 6 days though! My job interview is this coming Tuesday and I am so nervous.  Hopeful but nervous excitement is more overwhelming right now.  I am hoping to skype with mom soon and walk the computer around the apartment so she can see!  It is a crazy feeling to go from being surrounded by friends and family to being new to a big city and not knowing a soul here... well except Louden of coarse.  I am so blessed to have him as a husband, he is amazing in so many ways.  He stopped me today as we were unloading the trailor and told me this weather suits me... ? I wasn't sure what he meant so I asked and he said I was just so beautiful and my face just had a glow about it here.  Kinda made my day. :) haha   Any who I should stop rambling now and read a little before I fall asleep.

This is for you Keith Duck! ;)  Thanks for keeping up with me, it means a lot to me.